I don’t know what brought you to this place, but I’m glad we’re meeting. I don’t know you and you probably don’t know me – but I need you to know right now that I’ve got your back, my friend. I care about you. I want you to know that.
I’ll get right to it…
Suicide is a permanent action to whatever you are dealing with – and whatever you are dealing with is temporary. I know what I am talking about, because I have been there.
Many people don’t realize the finality of suicide.
And what if a suicide attempt fails? I know you don’t want to hear that right now, but then the problems really escalate and leave you in a far worse place than where you are right now. Think about that.
Suicide is forever.
Making decisions based on emotion are decisions that we come to regret.
The Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco is one of the most sought-after places for people wanting to jump to their deaths. 14 people have done so in 2018 alone, but San Francisco has begun construction on a suicide net in an attempt to save lives.
But how about the survivors? Every one of the people interviewed about this said they regretted their decision almost as soon as their hands left the rails. This speaks volumes.
Most suicides happen because we make decisions in the here and now.
I am not sure where you are emotionally right now – but I want to share a couple of things:
I care about you, and I am quite sure that many people care about you. We can’t look at life from the immediate perspective of the here and now. I don’t care how many times you may have heard this, but I am saying it again: Life is a journey. It is not a race. We are all on our own paths.
When we take the time to step back and take a time out, we can see things more clearly.
If you feel like you can’t go on, I want to challenge you to make it to the next meal.
When I was suicidal, my grandmother told me that if I didn’t feel like I could make it to the next meal, just make it one minute at a time. Minute-by-minute. Breathe.
If you are not in the mood to read this, check out the above VIDEO instead.
I am here to support you, not to judge you – and I believe that you are stronger than you think you are.
My friend, help is out there for the asking – and you can get to the root cause of your thoughts and emotions. You must first start with the courage to know that there is help.
Did you know that 90 percent of suicidal ideation comes down to depression?
You might not even realize that you are depressed – but if you are willing to ask for help, you will come to understand that what you are going through is being caused by depression. But you have to be honest with yourself and others and move forward from here to where you want to be. I know it’s not easy, but nothing good comes from an easy road to success. It’s not appreciated. It’s not valued.
Everything that we go through in life – the good and the bad – conditions us, shapes us and teaches us. We grow as a result of what we go through – and when you ask for and receive help in the form of therapy, you can live a healthy and balanced life. I am diagnosed with mental illness [major depression, bipolar II disorder and PTSD], yet I am the healthiest I have ever been because of therapy and medication.
But I am not talking medication right now. I am just saying that it’s OK to ask for help.
I want to share with you a couple of reasons why people want to end their lives – and maybe you can relate to what I am saying:
1) You feel alone, which means you think that you have no meaningful relationships. You probably do, but your depression can force you to want to isolate yourself, making you feel like you don’t have any such relationships. The truth is that those special people are there – family and friends – but you are not with them right now.
Therapy can help you become aware of this and teach you how to work through it.
2) You feel like a burden to other people. This generally means that you don’t think you make any notable contribution to those around you – family, friends, coworkers, your team. I think this comes down to self-esteem, and again, depression can certainly cloud how we feel day in and day out.
When you feel like you don’t have any meaningful relationships and that you are a burden – and this goes on for an extended period of time, you get so clouded and congested that you might begin to think that ending your life might be the answer.
It’s not the answer. It is never the answer.
Depression affects people differently. You could have major depression or you could have dysthymia, which is a very low-level depression where you might not even realize that you are depressed – but you know that you are tired of being miserable and unhappy.
I promise you that therapy can help you understand all of this.
Yes. I am an expert. I can spout jargon, research and statistics for days – but I know that this is not going to help in the moment. None of that would have helped me either, and I already told you that I have been suicidal.
I want to ask you to take a time out. Turn off social media. Get out of your head and maybe just go for a walk.
Who is your trusted friend? Who is that trusted adult? Who is that person you respect and whose opinion you value?
I am asking you to reach out, because that is the first step and the most important step. I am glad I did a couple of times, and I’m glad I still do.
I’m Jeff Yalden with The Jeff Yalden Foundation, and I’m glad you found me. I’ll be putting up more videos and blogs shortly that can guide you from where you are to where you want to be.
I am quite sure that dying is not really what you want. Please stay with me. Can you do that? Do it for you. How about for those that you love?
If you have to call 911 or go to the emergency room right away – go! It’s OK! Don’t worry about anything. Make a phone call to that special trusted person in your life. Let them know where you are so they can reach out to the people that need to know.
I promise you that people will be by your side, saying, “I’m proud of you for asking for help.”
You can also call the National Suicide Lifeline: 800-273-TALK  or hit up www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.