When people come into your life, they either plant seeds or they pick the fruit. It’s up to you to know the difference.
If people come into your life to pick the fruit and then want to leave – let them go. But the people that come into your life and want to plant seeds – those are the relationships that you want to foster, water and cultivate. Those are the real friends that make a profound difference in our lives.
When things get to be too much, we also need to know when to say when. I’ll explain…
Recently, a very dear friend reached out to me and told me they were feeling defeated.
I get that. We’ve all been there, right?
These days, it seems like we don’t ever get a break. We’re “plugged in” to our smartphones and social media 24/7, and we’re constantly running. Even when we do find some downtime, we’re so addicted to our devices that we’ve got to see what’s going on.
FOMO – the Fear of Missing Out – is so strong that we do ourselves more harm than good.
When do you realize that you have had too much and that you need a break?
You need to just shut everything down. You need to take a time-out.
That’s what I said to my friend. I said, “Hey – why don’t you just call in and take the day off…realize that you need a ‘you day,’ whatever that might mean.”
Your “you day” might mean different things to different people: Exercise, yoga – maybe take the dog for a walk or go by yourself. Be out in nature. Maybe you need time with your friends or you need to take your significant other, your children or your parents out to lunch and just be.
Maybe you need to have that time for tea or coffee with a special friend, where you can just sit down and say, “How’s your heart…”
…and just be comfortable being present and sharing your heart with someone else – without feeling that you’ve got to live this image that you are tired of living. You just want to be free…
Bottom line: We all get to that point where like, you know what? I’m tired. I’ve had enough. And when you start to feel that – right there should trigger an emotion that says, “It’s OK to take a time-out. It’s OK to recognize that I am not taking care of me as much as I’m taking care of everything else.”
My friends – you can’t pour from an empty pitcher. You can’t spend if you have an empty bank account. You can’t drive on an empty gas tank. You’re with your friends. You’ve invested emotionally in them, so now is the time when you can just say – “I just need a friend right now.”
You work so hard to provide value for somebody that you might be working for. I think it’s OK to say, “I’m not productive today. I’m taking the day off.”
It’s OK to take a time-out. Self-care is not selfish. As a matter of fact, I think if you’re not practicing self-care, you are being selfish. When you take care of yourself, you are a better parent, student or athlete. You’re a better son or daughter, grandparent, teacher or employee.
Folks, if you don’t take care of yourself personally – you are not as good professionally. It all goes hand-in-hand. The more you can recognize that, the healthier you will be and the more energy you are going to have.
This is about centering yourself and taking out all of the noise the outside world can throw at us. Look within. Focus on the here and the now. Breathe. Start by taking two or three breaks a day. Re-center. Reenergize. Rejuvenate yourself. Put the phone down and do what you need to do.
Jeff Yalden is an Educational Consultant who specializes in Teen Mental Health and Suicide Prevention. Jeff works with school communities by visiting schools and speaking to teens, teachers, parents and the community. For more information about Jeff Yalden, please visit www.TheJYF.org.
To listen to this episode of Jeff’s Podcast, Mental Health and Motivation: The Unlikely Life Coach, go HERE.